Don't Bring a Hardy Food Shopping
by I.Dream.Of.Hardyz
Summary: Vegatables? Check. Milk? Check. Annoying boyfriend? ... check. Don't bring a Hardy food shopping. You'll surely lose your mind. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything... got it? ;)

**Author's Note**: I am so bored. So, I wrote this. Don't know why, don't know if it's funny. All I know is that I work in a food store and in the month that I've been there, I've seen several things similiar to this. Ha. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

"We need to go food shopping," Mia said to her lounging boyfriend of just about five months. He barely looked up from the couch he was on, grumbling a response that also showed little caring. "All we have in this damn fridge is beer, Matt."

Matt waved his hand around. "All I need is beer."

"You're going to drink yourself into a coma," Mia sighed, walking over to the TV and shutting it off with a look of determination in her eyes. She placed her manicured finger in his direction and then pointed at the door. "Get your lazy ass up. We're going food shopping whether you like it or not."

Matt only raised his eyebrow. "How about I give you money and you put the TV back on?"

"Nope."

He groaned and slowly stood, Lucas, who had been on his right looking peeved to see his owner get up. Then, he walked forward with Mia and started for the door. "We're getting more beer, Mia."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because you have enough beer at home. God, if I ever took you into a liquor store, you'd never be able to control yourself."

They got into the car, bickering like they normally did. Call it an odd relationship yes, but the fighting was only simple things, nothing serious. Both Mia and Matt knew the true, loving feelings beneath them. "I could control myself," Matt countered. "I'm not an animal."

"You sure act like one."

He narrowed his eyes. "Shut up, Mia. You know you love when my instincts kick in."

Mia laughed for a moment, her face turning slightly red. She wasn't exactly talking about _that_ kind of animal, but oh well. "Matt, you're a pig."

"You love me."

"I have to."

**Twenty Minutes Later**

"I think we need soap for the shower."

"So get it. You're a big boy," Mia muttered. She was trying to decide on what yogurt to get for the week. When Matt was away, she survived on salads and yogurts.

Only a few minutes later, Matt came back but there wasn't any sign of soap in his hands. Instead, there were Twinkies, Doritos, and Chips Ahoy crumbled around.

"You know what they say," Matt grinned as her eyes widened. "Never go food shopping when you're hungry."

"What happened to your diet?"

"Every diet needs wiggle room." He looked triumphant as he set it down in the cart they had placed it in, still eyeing the food with interest.

"You have a whole lot more than wiggle room. In fact, it looks like you've cleared a cave."

She shook her head and took out the junk food, setting it down on the nearest clear space. "Come on, I want to see what they have on sale for vegetables."

**Twenty Minutes Later**

"Why can't I get just the Twinkies?" Matt whined, still irked that his girlfriend had taken out his favorite type of junk food ever. "They only cost—"

"Grow up, Matt."

"You grow up!"

"Act your age," she muttered. "I look like I'm walking around the store with an oversized kid."

"I want Twinkies."

"No." She gritted her teeth. Now he was finally getting on her nerves.

"I want Twinkies."

"You're about to get fifty of them shoved down your _throat_ unwillingly if you don't be quiet."

For a moment, all was silent. Mia made her way down the magazine aisle, closing her eyes to enjoy the silence. It was the first time she hadn't heard Matt's whining voice since they left.

"HEY!"

Silence over.

"Matt," Mia warned.

But when she looked over at Matt, he wasn't looking for junk food. He was staring at the cover of a wrestling magazine, his eyebrows furrowed, and fingers pointing at something. He shoved the paper into her face and looked absolutely pathetic as he pouted. "They called me fat, Mia! I'm not fat."

"Oh well," she muttered. "You know the truth."

Matt nodded solemnly, shaking his head in anger. "I can't believe they called me fat. What do they think I do all day? Eat junk food?"

Mia sighed again. "Jeez, I wonder where they got that from."

Rolling her eyes, Matt and she walked forward toward the cash register. It was only seconds later Matt had found a chocolate bar to stick on the belt. She looked at the cashier and shook her head. "Next time, I'm leaving him home."


End file.
